Love at First Sight
There are some people who say they fell in love at first sight. But then they spent the next 2 years confirming their initial suspicions!
You can't tell in the first five minutes whether you have met your soul mate.
If you only go out with people who you had instant chemistry, you have created a self fulfilling prophesy. You have also excluded a lot of potentially good partners from your life. You are overlooking people who you could emotionally bond to. Remember, people tend to get better looking as you fall in love.
Your first impression of people tends to be distorted. So don't miss out on the best thing that could ever happen to you because you believe only in love at first sight.
Opposites Don't Always Attract
There is a myth that opposites attract. The truth is that you are probably going to be happiest with someone who is quite similar to you. People with similar religious, cultural, socioeconomic, and educational backgrounds tend to be well suited for each other. This doesn't mean that you should only date the country club set if you played tennis as a child, but it does mean that the more you have in common, the more successful the relationship is likely to be.
Will My Ex Be Back |
Now, you may initially find someone who seems to be quite unlike you very intriguing. Over time as the relationship flourishes, you will probably find that you have more in common than it seemed at first blush.
There are some "differences" that don't matter much. For instance, a poet and a nuclear scientist aren't necessarily doomed. It's the important things that matter.
Furthermore, where differences do exist, the important thing is to be able to communicate and resolve problems. In this way, you find common ground and you find you are not as "opposite" as you thought.
Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Long distance relationships don't tend to flourish. Think about the high school sweethearts from Iowa who go to different coasts for college. The likelihood is that when they come home for Thanksgiving break, they'll call the whole thing off.
With the rise of internet dating sites, people have cast their dating nets wider. In many cases, this has meant that couples have "hooked up" who live 1000s of miles apart. Unless one person moves to the others city, the relationship probably won't work out over the long haul.
We live in a mobile society and many companies expect their employees to move around on a frequent basis. If one partner has to move and the other one has to stay put, there will be a strain on the relationship.
This is not to say that a long distance relationship can never work. But it does mean that the parties have to work harder for less gain. In that respect, distance does not make the heart grow fonder.
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