Three Layers of Intimacy

Intimacy is defined as a close, familiar, affectionate and loving relationship with another person. Even on its surface, the word is charged while cutting across multiple aspects of relationships. Culture squashes the word into a tiny box making it palatable for everyone and not challenging anyone. For couples to endure, their understanding of intimacy must extend beyond the traditional or simple delving into deeper areas of closeness, familiarity, love and affection.

Physical

In a culture obsessed with the physical, the simplest forms of intimacy fall into the purview of the body. Some of the greatest negotiations in a relationship can center around physical intimacy. From the first kiss to more personal acts, this is a dance played out starting with the first flirtations. Nervous teenagers are not the only ones to wonder if the first date will end in locking lips. Even the ones who know the final page of the date grow nervous when walked to the front door at the end of the evening because of intimacy of the act of kissing another person.

On a baseline level, physical intimacy cannot be pushed aside as a strictly biological hurdle to be bypassed. The excruciating sweetness of being near another person makes all the nerves and risk worth it. Even as it is important, physical intimacy is not the pinnacle of connection. Physical closeness does whisper delicious promises of deep depths than anyone else dares to dream of.


Communication

Intimacy in the midst of conversation reveals a great deal about the person. It can disclose dreams, hopes and the most fervent wants. Words, though sometimes crude tools, possess the gift to grant greater insight into the person in the relationships than any physical act alone could ever hope to ensnare.

Three Layers of Intimacy 

This intimacy sits firmly between physical intimacy and deeper waters because some of the first things shared can be the ways in which physical pleasure can be granted and received. It takes courage to stop a partner and request they linger on a neglected patch of flesh. The receiver gains greater insight into their partner and the sharer feels appreciated and closer to the other person. This communication is never limited to the corporeal, immediate or temporary. It can be a first and important step.

Emotional

The heart represents one of the deepest levels of intimacy for a couple. The heart holds so much in the way of seeing a person for who they are with the pains they have suffered, the hopes they strive for and the ways in which they seek to protect themselves. Imagine if a partner possess access to all of these things. How close would a couple be? How well would they know one another? How much love could they experience and express?

A couple without higher forms of intimacy may find this level almost impossible to reach without an intermediary. They may not feel safe around the other person. They might not feel as though their needs matter. This is why physical connection leads to speaking about such closeness and ends up revealing the deeper parts of themselves. While challenging, the sweetness of knowing someone on this level can only be matched by someone being know in a similar manner creating the be best infinite positive feedback loop.

Couples must step beyond what is easy and into what is deeply hard. Only in the center of a relationship filled with deep intimacy can all the benefits of lasting, passion love blossom. Take the chance to be as intimate with someone safe and taste the ambrosia of true love.

Five Pillars of Healthy Relationships

Ask any architect, educator or psychiatric professional the basis of producing anything of quality able to stand the test of time and they will point toward a strong foundation as the initial criteria. Without a solid foundation, nothing lasts. A scary aspect of foundation building centers around keeping every portion solid. A weak spot threatens the stability of the whole and leads to eventual collapse.

People acknowledge the wisdom of a strong foundation when building a house because of the physical nature of the foundation inherent to the structure. Establishing and maintaining a base for a relationship proves much trickier because individuals bring so much into their relationships from the way they have been raised, past hurts and their own need. Focusing on five key areas simplifies things while giving couples avenues for growth throughout the life of the relationships.

Respect

Mutual respect starts the process. It places a hedge around the couple by saying they value the other person. One of the greatest barriers to respect is setting aside the temptation of focusing on what a single partner treasures. In some ways, this should come naturally. As children, people receive training at a young age to get along with others, share and give others a chance to voice their beliefs and feelings. Respect needs to exist first to clear space for other pillars.

Trust

When forming a relationship, a sensation of safety where being hurt becomes drastically reduced causes both partners to feel wrapped in a warm blanket. Is it possible to develop a healthy relationship without trust? Absolutely not. Fear flourishes where partners are unable to trust one another. Even the smallest gap in the armor weakens the structure of the relationships making forward progress practically impossible.

Five Pillars of Healthy Relationships

Intimacy

This aspect within relationships come in many shades. Most couples may hear the word intimacy and immediately jump to the bedroom. This is a fraction of how true intimacy forms and displays itself. Couples who have been together for decades share the most intimate things with and without physical contact. Fortunately, the best way to be so close stems from being in a healthy relationship.

Communication

Is communication important in a relationship? Every relationship, whether romantic or not, never thrives without open communication. Couples who learn to speak from their heart, accept constructive criticism and seek to build up one another discover communication becomes easier. This aspect always takes work and operates ideally within a stable relationship.

Love

Out of a full heart, several of the other pillars can be supported. Love abounds when in a respectful, intimate, trusting and communicative environment. As a quality, love can act as the binding material drawing in and building up the other aspects of a healthy relationship.

Each of these qualities may exist alone in a relationship. Times occur when one needs to move to the foreground to address a concern. Regardless of the stage of the relationship, all five pillars need to be present if the couple intends to be close for a lifetime. Maintain respect, trust, intimacy, communication and love and the relationship will be strong enough to weather any storm.

The Secret you need to know to get your lover back! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!

Why He Can't Marry You (Even When He Secretly WANTS To)

Did you know that, when it comes to commitment, every man is in one of TWO emotional phases? - The ‘juvenile player’ phase... - And the grown up MAN phase. Grown up men are able to FULLY commit. But when a man is in the ‘juvenile player’ phase, he is more than happy to spend time naked in your bed... But will never take steps to move the relationship forward. Why?? Turns out that, psychologically, he actually can’t move to the next phase on his own. There’s even a name for this: it’s called Peter Pan syndrome. And it means that he is totally reliant on YOU to do it FOR him... ...to be the one woman who can inspire him to CHOOSE to grow up, become a MAN, and commit. And until you do... - he will be unwilling to talk about his feelings - unwilling to upgrade the relationship - and he won’t ever really FEEL the love he’s capable of feeling. Hey, he might say he does. He might call himself your boyfriend... or even your fiancée. He might even BELIEVE it (for now.) But until you can dissolve his invisible hangups about commitment (that he might not even realize are there)... He’ll always have one foot out the door emotionally... … and he’ll never truly become the MAN he was meant to be. If you want to see exactly how to dissolve these hangups, help him grow up, and have even the biggest player CHOOSE to commit himself heart, body, and soul to you... ...then go check out this quick cartoon my friend Mirabelle put together for you: ==> CLICK HERE When you do, all the foot dragging and weird emotional distance transforms into an absolute flood of affection, devotion, and undying connection... And you’ll see the biggest player of them all bending over backwards to change his ways for YOU. Remember, he can’t do it himself. He needs your help. Yours, YOUR NAME HERE PS: I want you to watch this cartoon right now because it shows you EXACTLY how to be the one woman who INSPIRES him to stop being a boy... ...and become a real MAN, the way it should be. ==> CLICK HERE

Will my ex be back

Will My Ex Be Back

Author: Dick Scott

Let me share the frustration that is coming from a unexpected breakup from a long relationship. With that I want to say that in some way or another will you survive. 
Unexpected are not true all of the times because many times there are clear signs of what is about to happen. Even if we do have a tendency to overlook them in our hope that everything will be fine.

A common sign afterwards is the frustration. Torn between hope and despair is not easy. We cling many times to the thought: will my ex be back, which lead us to further frustration if they dont come back.

So what to do in this uncertainty? First and foremost if we go back to before the unexpected breakup. One clear advice is to communicate. No matter if you are afraid of the reaction are your responsibility to be clear on how you feel and what you want. There are no place for guessing games in a relationship. It has to be based on trust and love but that dont mean to not express how you feel and what you want.

People in love often think that their partner can guess what they think about a situation and what they want but thats not true even if love melts both peoples minds and hearts together.So please dont be scared, instead you should be straight to the point in a respectful manner about happenings in your life together. You should also be prepared to listen to other opinions.

Will my ex be back

This is how you build trust and true friendship in a relation which will hinder mostly of the unexpected and unwanted.

If you are in the frustration and will my ex be back stage are my advice not to only count on your hope. I urge you to instead deal with the facts that led to "the unexpected breakup". It is not wrong to have hope but it has to be based on what really happend. What actually led to this situation for both of you.

Instead of thinking will my ex be back i suggest you use these questions:

1. Do i want my ex back or not?

2. Does my ex want me back?

3.How can we start to communicate the truth to eachother again about what happend and about how we feel without being dishonest or show disrespect?

If you have answered these questions together you will have a firm foundation to build on and the phrase: will my ex be back? can be altered to: my ex will be back! 

Good Luck and Blessings:)

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Rolling with Relational Changes

If asked, couples would say they prefer not to struggle with the ups and downs necessitated by life. Life, frozen in time, proves to be no kind of life worth living. With that said, the prospect of dealing with changes in a relationship stirs fear. Even the strongest couples find stopping any pending change impossible, but they can weather it while flourishing.

Attitude Makes a Difference

Being aware of the inevitable nature of change can be the first step in accepting its impact. A couple possessing a healthy attitude about life's variances will stand united against all the things threatening to tear them apart. Most people believe a positive outlook provides nothing to the outcome. However, studies show those believing they will will come out the other side whole when going into a difficult situation have a greater likelihood of succeeding.

Rolling with Relational Changes

Working Together

Supporting one another gives couples another advantage as change buffets them. By being a team, no one feels as though they must bear the weight of the relationship on their own. Times will exist when one partner may need to provide greater support and this balances swings from one to the other. The good news is they are a pair when times get tough and remind each other how far they have traveled together.

Step into the Change

Confidently moving with any changes offers challenges most couples prefer to deflect. Change possesses the tendency to revel shortcomings in one's skill. These weaknesses arrive at the most inopportune times. They point to areas requiring work in defining areas like listening, communicating and working together.

Professional Guidance

The prospect of facing changes, even as a solid unit, can be overwhelming. Under these circumstances, couples with an ally in the form of a trained counselor achieve a greater chance for success. A third party offers objectivity to see the relationship along with the transitions it passes through accurately. Being too close to their own point of view and events surrounding them tends to prevent the couple from seeing what is happening. An outside viewpoint might encourage the couple to press forward.

Stages of Change

Seeing how people and couples enter, address and rest in change may assist in moving through the stages. Transitioning into and out of change is insufficient. People need to understand and embrace the full process.

* Contemplation: Couples become aware of an impending or currently occurring change within their relationship. It might register only as a tremor in the emotional landscape, but it brings the realization to their attention.
* Preparation: After the contemplation stage, couples will make shifts in their life getting ready for a change. This might include packing keepsakes, reviewing travel sites or even researching what would be needed to change their insurance.
* Action; This step amplifies everyone's attention causing them to bypass the initial stages. Whether couples realize it or not, they go through the early stages too quickly and are ill prepared for the action phase. However, they are able to act as a team due to their planning and prep.
* Maintenance: Assessing the events following the action step permits the couple to sustain a positive outlook while addressing the unexpected bumps. This puts them on the correct path for the next change coming down the relational highway.

With the inevitability of change, couples need to view the situation as an opportunity to grow closer and avoid seeing it as a hurdle attempting to trip up their future happiness. They will weather the storm by addressing things together and standing united. A growing relationship relishes the chance to change and everyone wants a thriving relationship.

Women To Women Advice On Your Divorce
by Leeanne Kunnert

Wouldn't life be wonderful if we could give ourselves advice on experiences before we experienced them? Divorce is a hindsight 20/20 situation. Divorce is one of those situations where we need advice before we go through it but often don't know where to turn. Other women who have gone though divorce come in to play to help us. Below are the top ten pieces of advice women give each other when moving through the divorce process.

It can take some time to recover

Just because the divorce process has started or finalized does not mean that there is an automatic switch that will allow you to recover. Recovering from a divorce is difficult. You won't necessarily be able to bounce back and go about your life as it was. Take time to recover. You need time to process and heal. You may feel like you can barely function and that too is okay. Be ready however because there will come a time when you will be ready to move on and to let yourself heal.

Choose an attorney specializing in divorce

When looking for council don't settle on an attorney; it is important that you find an attorney that specializes in family law and divorce. A lawyer that specializes in something other than divorce and family law will not get you the results you want out of your divorce. A divorce attorney who understands all the ins and outs of local law and state nuances.

           Women To Women Advice On Your Divorce

Analyze your finances

Get as much information as you can about the family finances. You not only have to have a handle on your own finances but also a grip on all of the accounts within the household. You should know what payments are coming out automatically, where funds are invested, what bills need to be paid and more. If possible gather online usernames and passwords so that you are able to look up information as needed.

Consider the future of your living expenses

If you are going to be living on your own it is important that consider the money that you have coming in to decide what you can afford to have outgoing every month. If you don't know exactly what you will need you won't know what to ask for and then may end up sacrificing your own financial needs.

Stop thinking of divorce as failure

Don't beat yourself up. Divorce is not about failing or being rejected all it means is that your relationship did not work out. The sooner you understand that you are not at fault the sooner you will be able to get on with moving on with your life.

More Information:

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom's in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

Source: http://www.PopularArticles.com/article467067.html

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Separation, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Relation Seems Hopeless!

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

Relational Strain Caused by Finances

Money affects day to day life more than almost any other force. Religious texts and folk wisdom all speak to how money should be handled by individuals, couples and families. Talk to almost any couple, regardless of their financial standing, and they will likely confess the majority of their discussions center around money. Knowing the pitfalls of financial concerns brought about by this topic, couples need a solid game plan to navigate these choppy waters.

Talking About the Monster

Couples without any conversations about money matters find themselves either in large scale fights or dissolving under the grinding weight of its pressure. The worst course of action is never having a single serious conversation about finances. Everyone's upbringing, education and experience with money is different. This colors how they relate to all sorts of circumstances. Without knowing a partner's feelings about finances, one might accidentally violate a core belief damaging the relationship. The couple needs to determine what is important to them as a unit and how they are going to proceed. Without frank discussion, couples will never be able to move onto the next step.

Setting a Road Map

Planning sounds like the most boring way to address anything in a relationship. Funny thing about money is life presents unpredictable circumstances alone. In this modern age, a serious accident or fluctuations in industries bring about changes to a couple's financial standing. In light of vast uncertainty, making a plan and discussing the plan becomes more critical.

Budgeting: A map is easier to follow when things are set. That's why roads and landmarks do not change overnight. Think how much harder it would be to get to the office everyday if everything changed on a whim. The first budget is the hardest because no one wants to feel hemmed into a corner where they can not spend what they want for what they want. The important thing to remember about a budget is how it demonstrates what the couple holds the most dear because they are planning for a particular outcome whether saving for a house or planning for a big trip. Also, budgets are working documents. They can be changed based on goals, accurate data and unexpected changes.

Relational Strain Caused by Finances 

Deviating: With an established budget, a couple proves better able to steer toward a good opportunity when it presents itself. A great house becomes available before they expected, but the couple can see areas they can cut in the short term to help them reach a larger goal quicker. Those without a clear vision of the future or how they move toward it will not be able to pivot quickly enough and might miss out on an ideal situation.

Saying "No"

Talking and planning sound like challenging mental exercises, but the kind where both partners are on the same page. While true in theory, the greatest arguments come when a denial exists. We are hardwired to fight against hearing no. Tell a toddler in the grocery store they can not have a bag of candy at the check out. How do they respond? Do they wait to hear the wisdom against having too much sugar or how a meal is right around the corner? Hopefully, adults in such situations do better, but they tend to not like hearing no either. Here are some points that might help.

* Reminding each other of the end goal and not momentary want.
* Emphasizing the partnership and how both are working together.
* Offering to discuss it later when cooler heads return.

Partners don't want to say no to one another because they prefer to shower each other with love, acceptance and anything else the other wants. However, sometimes the kindest thing is not giving in because it would be the easier thing to do.

Money, thought challenging, brings opportunities. Couples who save for a trip can experience a location with less stress. Wrangling money matters within the confines of their relationship allows couples another area in which to communicate effectively and bring them closer. Draw nearer and have the tough discussions now. It will pay dividends in the future.

NEW! Now You Can Stop Your Separation, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Relation Seems Hopeless!

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…