Three Layers of Intimacy

Intimacy is defined as a close, familiar, affectionate and loving relationship with another person. Even on its surface, the word is charged while cutting across multiple aspects of relationships. Culture squashes the word into a tiny box making it palatable for everyone and not challenging anyone. For couples to endure, their understanding of intimacy must extend beyond the traditional or simple delving into deeper areas of closeness, familiarity, love and affection.

Physical

In a culture obsessed with the physical, the simplest forms of intimacy fall into the purview of the body. Some of the greatest negotiations in a relationship can center around physical intimacy. From the first kiss to more personal acts, this is a dance played out starting with the first flirtations. Nervous teenagers are not the only ones to wonder if the first date will end in locking lips. Even the ones who know the final page of the date grow nervous when walked to the front door at the end of the evening because of intimacy of the act of kissing another person.

On a baseline level, physical intimacy cannot be pushed aside as a strictly biological hurdle to be bypassed. The excruciating sweetness of being near another person makes all the nerves and risk worth it. Even as it is important, physical intimacy is not the pinnacle of connection. Physical closeness does whisper delicious promises of deep depths than anyone else dares to dream of.


Communication

Intimacy in the midst of conversation reveals a great deal about the person. It can disclose dreams, hopes and the most fervent wants. Words, though sometimes crude tools, possess the gift to grant greater insight into the person in the relationships than any physical act alone could ever hope to ensnare.

Three Layers of Intimacy 

This intimacy sits firmly between physical intimacy and deeper waters because some of the first things shared can be the ways in which physical pleasure can be granted and received. It takes courage to stop a partner and request they linger on a neglected patch of flesh. The receiver gains greater insight into their partner and the sharer feels appreciated and closer to the other person. This communication is never limited to the corporeal, immediate or temporary. It can be a first and important step.

Emotional

The heart represents one of the deepest levels of intimacy for a couple. The heart holds so much in the way of seeing a person for who they are with the pains they have suffered, the hopes they strive for and the ways in which they seek to protect themselves. Imagine if a partner possess access to all of these things. How close would a couple be? How well would they know one another? How much love could they experience and express?

A couple without higher forms of intimacy may find this level almost impossible to reach without an intermediary. They may not feel safe around the other person. They might not feel as though their needs matter. This is why physical connection leads to speaking about such closeness and ends up revealing the deeper parts of themselves. While challenging, the sweetness of knowing someone on this level can only be matched by someone being know in a similar manner creating the be best infinite positive feedback loop.

Couples must step beyond what is easy and into what is deeply hard. Only in the center of a relationship filled with deep intimacy can all the benefits of lasting, passion love blossom. Take the chance to be as intimate with someone safe and taste the ambrosia of true love.