Will My Ex Be Back: Is There Romance After Kids

Sundays article Is There Romance After Kids are about the best things that comes out of a relationship: kids! No matter if your  time for romance is lesser then before its worth it. To be there and experience how a child grow and developes is wonderful even if it has its obstacles.  When theres a need for some time on your own your relatives may take care of the child and that can be easier if they has been part of your childs life from the beginning. Believe me it wont be many hours before you both start to think about your child and are longing to get back home. So be thankful if you are blessed with children in your life and if not you may have relatives with kids that you can relate to. Have a great sunday and read on my friends.

 Dick Scott

Something that most couples don’t take into consideration when deciding to have a baby is just how much their life together is going to change once that baby is born and a huge part of their lives. There will be no more spur of the moment weekend getaways or just deciding to eat dinner at a restaurant. Everything you do must be coordinated around whether or not you’ve got a babysitter or if the baby can go with you.

Your freedom is almost non-existent. In fact, it’s this issue that causes the most problems between you and your partner once you become parents. The exception to that is if you’ve got a couple of reliable babysitters or if you’ve got enough money to pay a live-in nanny to be on call 24/7. That’s not always the best solution because most parents want to take care of their babies independently. So now you’re back to having no freedom.

Babies are also notorious for regularly interrupting those special romantic moments between you and your partner. They may not come around as often as before because the baby needs lot of care and attention. So when the two of you are finally able to fall into bed together, you’re both so exhausted that sex is the last thing on either of your minds. Between all of the low energy and no time together, you both probably start wondering if the romance has left your relationship forever.

Before you start to give up on ever having one of those special moments with your man again, there are ways that you can keep the romance in your relationship in spite of the fact that you now have a baby to take care of. They’re all things that you need to get in place, however, before the baby arrives. You’re going to have enough going on with caring for a newborn and there won’t be time to organize anything.

To begin with, if you live near either or both of your parents, that’s usually a great thing. Most grandparents are thrilled to babysit anytime you want them to. In fact, they usually beg to be allowed to babysit. If that’s your case, let them! They wouldn’t volunteer if they didn’t want to. Keep that in mind. Those built-in babysitters will be lifesavers.

If you don’t live around your parents or other doting relatives, you’ll have to take another direction. Find reliable and responsible babysitters before the baby arrives. Interview several and be sure to check all references. Sometimes you’ll have some great friends that you can trust to care for your child, so definitely put them on the list. It’s always a better idea to line up several babysitters so that if you run into problems, there’s always another one on the list to call.

You’re going to love your baby more than you’ve ever loved anyone or anything in your life. That may be the first shock you’ll experience. You may even be so enthralled with your child that you can’t bear being away from him. Keep in mind, though, that in order to be a good parent, you need to be allowed to be a real person, too. That includes being romantic.

Thanx for reading and enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Blessings

Dick Scott

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WARNING: Unconventional Methods!

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Now you are free to make up your own mind about me. I just don’t believe that any amount of sitting in a classroom can make up for the REAL WORLD experience that I have under my belt…

I mean, what’s a more valuable experience?…Listening to a lecture on libido? Or BEING THERE when my buddy’s girlfriend is chucking his clothes and skivvies out the bedroom window because she thinks he was with some tart the night before?

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Article 1-2 In a Series of Articles on Your Pretty Princess Wedding on a Pauper’s Budget

Introduction

Today, many women spend tens of thousands of dollars on glamorous weddings.  The competition to have the “biggest and the best” on “the most important day of your life” is fierce.  But you actually don’t have to spend a lot of money to have a fabulous wedding.  It is simply a matter of deciding what features are important to you and how to cut the costs.  You can still have everything you want and keep your wedding on a budget if you plan carefully.

It Starts With a Ring

Traditionally, a man buys a ring and suprises his girlfriend with it when he proposes. 

Traditionally, the man or the couple would go to the local jeweler and look at the 100 or so rings available and make a choice.

Traditionally, a man would spend two times his monthly income on the ring.

But things aren’t so traditional anymore.  In the modern world, the woman is often involved with the purchasing decision from the word go.  Now, there are online diamond jewelry outlets that have tens of thousands of ring combinations and will save you a ton of money over a retail store. 

At the time of this writing, Zales was offering “specials” on half carat engagement ring diamond solitaires for $1600.  Blue Nile online store’s “build it yourself” ring was $1050. 

You not only save money at Blue Nile, you get to design your own ring.  You can select diamonds on the basis of their clarity, carat, color, and cut.  You also select the setting and can incorporate things such as the bride and groom’s birthstones.

Another nice feature is that you can order the ring in the bride’s size from the outset which means there is no delay in getting a standard size ring resized.

Finally, when you start the wedding process by saving on the ring rather than spending an outlandish amount at a retail store, you set the tone for the whole wedding budget.

Wedding Budget

The next thing we need to look at is deciding on the overall wedding budget.  A sensible thing to do is establish a top figure that you are willing to spend (say $10,000) and develop your budget at 80% of that (say $8,000).  Weddings have a way of costing more than you planned, so plan for the unexpected from the beginning.

The bride’s father typically had two roles: write the checks and walk her down the aisle.  But things have changed.

First of all, with wedding expenses what they are, many fathers are not willing to foot the bill all by themselves.  Also, as couples have delayed getting married, they have some money to pay for the wedding themselves.

Early on in the wedding planning, sit down with all of the people who are going to be paying the bills and ask what their contributions can be and what they expect in return.  You can involve fathers, mothers, step parents, and groom’s parents.

You can ask people to chip in a certain amount toward the overall budget or you can ask them to pay for specific things.  Perhaps an aunt will pay for the wedding flowers while your step father will buy the dress.  If you get commitments for specific things, the people who are helping you foot the bill will feel that they have more control over their budgets.  They may also be willing to spend a little more because it is for one thing and not for a general budget.

Keep in mind that once you get financial commitments from people, they start to work them into their own budgets.  If you go back and ask for more later, they may not have the money.  So, try to stick with the budget you set forth at the beginning.

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It’s YOUR Wedding

The traditional wedding lament of all brides has been “It’s MY wedding,” when mothers, mothers of the bride, and other relations have tried to run the show.  This lament has traditionally fallen on deaf ears.

But, if you are paying for more of the wedding yourself or if you are trying to control costs, you have more of a say in how the wedding will unfold.

For instance, if you are trying to keep costs down, the guest list will reflect the people you really want there, not your third cousin’s ex wife’s nephew (unless he really is a close friend of yours.) 

You can also keep the wedding costs under control by limiting the number of attendants.  Every member of your extended family does not need to be part of the wedding party.  You can tell them your budget simply does not allow for this and ask them to sing in a duet or read a poem instead.

If you are planning a wedding on a budget, it also frees you to think through all of the aspects of a wedding.  Is the Unity Candle ceremony important to you?  If not, ditch it and save $50. 

If you are planning a wedding on a budget, insist on having more control over the details.  This (hopefully) once in a lifetime experience can be brought in at the cost allocated only if you don’t give in to everyone else’s wishes.

Cut the Crap

In the rest of this report, I’m going to tell you how to get the best deals on numerous parts of the wedding.  But before I do that, I want to recommend that you cut the crap.

That is, what parts of the wedding or wedding gear do you NOT really need?  There is an entire wedding industry that exists solely to sell you stuff.  Brides often feel guilty if they don’t buy it.  They think that they might miss a momento 50 years from now if they don’t buy it.  But think about the number of moves you’ll make in your lifetime and the current living space you have and ask yourself whether you will actually keep all of those wedding “things.”

For instance, are matching “Bride” and “Groom” Champaign flutes really necessary?  Are you going to keep them always and forever?  Personalized flutes can cost $80 and up.  Do you really want the thing you make a toast with taking up 1 percent of your budget?

Another thing you might want to consider is the markup on anything associated with a wedding.  Unity candles can cost $100 in the special wedding section of a store.  But, a $12 candle from Target could serve the purpose just as well.

Also, think about all of the clothing that gets sold with “bride” on it.  Sure, you want to let the world know that you’re married, but six months from now, are you still going to want to wear sweats that say “bride”?  Your identity may be wrapped around getting married right now, but later, those clothes may actually be embarrassing. 

Your wedding party does not need all of the “stuff” either.  Your best friend is never going to wear that “maid of honor” sweat shirt again.  Don’t feel compelled to buy these trivial things that add up to big budget items.

Finally, think about what personalized “swag” is really necessary at a wedding.  Do your reception guests really need matchbooks with your names on them?  All of those things add to the total bottom line price, and many of them don’t add any real value to the event.