Will My Ex Be Back

Will My Ex Be Back
Visar inlägg med etikett how to handle divorce. Visa alla inlägg
Visar inlägg med etikett how to handle divorce. Visa alla inlägg

söndag 9 juni 2013

Dealing With Her Reaction When You Break Up

You know your girlfriend better than almost anyone else, so you may be able to predict how she will react. Some of the ways women react to being told the relationship is over is to cry, have hysterics, scream at you, throw things, and storm out. Unless you perceive that there is any chance of real violence, you just have to put up with whatever scene she causes. That's the price of breaking up.

You can't control her, but you can control your reaction to her. For instance, when she cries, you can start crying too. That will really throw her. It doesn't have to be a sloppy cry, but a tear or two might stop her in her tracks.

If she starts yelling, you can take it with stoic silence. If she wants to know why you are doing this, you can soothe her and lie.

If she doesn't say anything, don't fill up the silence with explanations. Let her finish her dinner in silence and let her leave.



Be prepared for her arguments about why you should remain a couple. She may promise anything if you will agree to stay together. But, by the time you have decided to break up, you should already know that there is nothing she or you can do to change the situation and you are both better off single.

Whatever you do, you should have a disentanglement strategy. Perhaps you can schedule an appointment for one hour after the break up meeting time. If this is an appointment that you just can't miss, you will have to walk out of there composed.

How to Tell Her

Now we get to the nitty-gritty. How should you tell your girlfriend that you are breaking up? Avoid psychobabble. She'll see right through it. Saying "it's not you, it's me" is meaningless because she is going to know that it really is her. You are not calling all women off. You're calling her off.

Be clear that you are breaking up with her and there is no room for discussion. This is a decision you have made and it requires no input or discussion on her part.

Be concise. You don't have to drag it out if you don't want to. She can cry on her girlfriends' shoulders. You are no longer her punching bag.

You may feel that you have to offer explanations, but you really don't. You are not doing her any favors by telling her that she is a nag or that you are tired of her manipulating you. It won't help her be a better girlfriend for another guy. She'll just use your words against you. And, you won't get anything out of it.

Perhaps the best line is "I don’t think we're a good fit anymore." Leave it at that and walk away if you're smart.
Ps. Whatever you say or do in the middle of a breakup it all come down to one thing. Everything we give out
we receive back; the good and the bad so before you are in the middle of a storm learn how to handle it or to avoid it by watching this!

lördag 8 juni 2013

Will My Ex Be Back: Dont Break Up Online

There are exceptions to this "dont break up online" including:

You are in middle school

It has been an entirely virtual relationship (email personals, Second Life relationship)

You are in a long distance relationship in which case the phone is okay, but email is still a sucky way to go.

If you think the break up may result in violence, it is acceptable to call it off without your personal presence.

One advantage of not being present when breaking up with someone is that you don’t have to be with them or deal with their emotions when you call things off. This is counterbalanced with the disadvantages which include:
* The person will think less of you
* You ill come off as more of a jerk than you really are
* Your dumping will be recorded and shared with all of her girlfriends.
* It may feel incomplete to you.

 Dont Break Up Online 


If you have a wide circle of friends in common, work together, attend church together, or for any reason are going to continue to see each other, do not break up by electronic means. It will come back to haunt you.

So, if you have to do it in person, where should it be?

One place people think about breaking up is at her house or yours. But, you should consider whether this is a good idea as well.

If you go over to her house, you have to find a way to exit gracefully. If you do it at your house, you have the problem of finding a way to get her to leave. Either way, it tends to not have a sense of resolution.

Furthermore, you are going to live at your house (and she at hers) so breaking up at home will leave negative residual memories at the place of the break up. If you break up at a restaurant, she can just avoid that eating place from now on. It is a lot harder to avoid one's
couch.

If you live together, the home break up is even more complicated. One of you will have to move out. If you are preparing to break up, you should have a plan for where to spend the night and how you are going to get your stuff.

Unless you own the residence in your name only, you should assume that you are the one who has to move out and make plans accordingly. If there is a logical reason why she should do the moving out, you should still be prepared to temporarily decamp so that she has the
time to make new arrangements.

So, that leaves public places as the optimal place to break up. There are many reasons whybreaking up in public is the way to go.

For one thing, she is less likely to become emotional or dramatic when there are people around. You can say your piece. For another thing, once you have said your piece, you can leave. She is also free to leave at any time.

Now, she can get emotional, throw her glass of wine in your face, and have dramatic hysterics. This would be embarrassing for you. But, you don't know these people and you will never see them again. Breaking up in a public place is preferable to all of the other options.

Ps. If you need further advice about breaking up or maybe getting back together with ex here it is
The Magic of Making Up. The best relationship guide since 2008.