How He Says "I Want You Back"

In most relationships, the result becomes binary. It is over, so there is no contact between the former members. The status goes from being "in a relationship" to "available." But what happens when a former lover makes a gesture of rekindling. Excitement can overshadow caution, or worse, bury signs of genuine longing by the other. Let's see how one might reveal their intent to reenter a romantic relationship with something to consider at the beginning.

A Word of Caution

Take stock of the situation surrounding the relationship and what actually occurred within it. If physical or emotional abuse existed, recall the charms used to place you in the situation to begin with. If constant infidelities shattered the trust, consider the steps necessary to rebuild the trust and if the potential for a return to pain would be worth it. Also, take stock of what is happening in both romantic lives currently including new relationships in the awkward growing phase. Those infant relationships present new challenges while presenting the possibility of flourishing into something richer than any recaptured magic.

With the caveat complete, more exciting and positive things await.

Asking About You

Some of the early, tentative signs requires him to get in touch with people surrounding you. He may reach out to friends and family to inquire about the status of your love life, what is going on and getting a high level feel for how you are doing. This can be challenging for him because he enters the initial ring of defense. These people, especially after a hard break up, will be more likely to rebuff him and stand ready to defend you from further pain. If willing to press through this outer barrier, it demonstrates his willingness to fight for contact with you.

How He Says "I Want You Back"

Random Direct Contact

Gone are the days of formal introductions and courtly politics to reestablish old alliances. Today, a text, email or other social media contact can act in this fashion. Early salvos need to be warm and address the past relationship. This means, especially if things ended poorly or hurtful things were said by him, the first message should contain a sincere apology for his portion of the conflict. Groveling is not a prerequisite. In fact, being too conciliatory may stir more suspicion than if he never brought the matter up at all. With clear relational decks, accept what he has to say and see if you wish to go farther.

Recalling the Past

One final way to know if he seeks to return to your life locks into the action of pointing back to past events. A foundation of shared history means milestones like anniversaries, special dates and locations hold sway over his heart. His discussion of them will also reveal just how much the time you two spent together meant to him. Hearing the details that mattered to him and teasing out why they made such an impact will give a clearer picture to how he viewed you then, how he sees you now and possibly what brought him back around to desiring a restart to the relationship.

Everyone longs for the redemption of an old relationship. Movies have centered around recapturing lost loves. Songs fill the airwaves with the promise of love returning. It speaks to the deepest parts of us as people. Being open to its possible return means things may flourish where all once seemed lost. All it takes is clear vision and an open heart.

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