Once you get past the initial shock of the break up, you will still have a period of mourning. During this time, you have to toughen up. While you may have been able to indulge your self for a short time, now it is time to adjust to the new reality.
Take good care of yourself. While having a pint of Ben and Jerry’s felt good right after the break up, developing good eating habits is important now. You should also be exercising regularly. The endorphins that your body produces when you exercise will help improve your mood.
Don’t be afraid to cry when the mood strikes you. You are going to have ups and downs. But, don’t give in to a chronic state of depression.
Forgive your ex. At some point, you will have to forgive your ex for breaking your heart. You will also have to forgive him for any actions he took during the relationship which hurt you. The longer you hold anger toward him, the longer it will be before you can exit the break up mentality.
You should also ask him for forgiveness for any of the hurt you caused in the relationship. This will allow you to cleanse.
Go out – even when you don’t feel like it. This can mean going out with your friends for social things. But it can also mean going out on dates with a new person. While you don’t want to enter into a hot and heavy rebound relationship, going out on dates will allow you to see yourself as an attractive catch. It will boost your self esteem at a time when you really need it. Go out on a date with someone you are not likely to fall in love with.
Socialize with your friends and reconnect with people who you have let go of. Many times, a relationship dominates our lives and our other friends get squeezed out without us even knowing it. Go through your address book or email list and find people you haven’t talked to in a few months. Set up a time to go out for coffee.
Take up a new hobby or interest. If you always wanted to try toll painting, take a class. If your ex was a couch potato but you like the great outdoors, join a hiking group. Not only will your new activity take up some of the time left vacant from the termination of the relationship, you will also have the chance to meet new people.
Think about getting out of town for a few days. The change in scenery could be good for your soul.
You can also get a new hairstyle or do a wardrobe makeover. You don’t have to consider his preferences any more. It may be a good time to reinvent yourself.
Remember that healing takes time. You are going to have good days and bad.
Figure out what you were supposed to have learned from the relationship and then apply that to your life in the future.
Finally, believe that your ex did you a favor in the long term when he called it off. Your true soul mate is still out there waiting for you.
In the long term, you will begin to compartmentalize the experience. Your ex will become just another boyfriend. That will be one part of your life, but you will have many other parts.
This series of article on "Mending My Broken Heart" will continue tomorrow. Watch this video below from T W Jackson who has helped over 50 000 people to get back to love again with The Magic of Making Up.
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