Article 2 In a Series of Articles on Mending My Broken Heart

Another way people try to get even after a break up is to enter into a rebound relationship.  Some people try to replace their ex right away as a way of getting over the ex.  These relationships almost always fail and a person is hurt a second time.

A more productive thing to do with your time is to finalize the end of the relationship.   For instance, exchange all of the “things” that you have of the other’s.  If there are “things” that you don’t necessarily need to exchange (ie. his toothbrush), then throw them away.  Get rid of any of the things that remind him of you.

And, as you reach the end of the “getting even” phase, you can begin to see the whole event as a learning experience.  Maybe you have learned that there is a specific type of person that you want to avoid in the future.  Maybe you have learned some things about yourself that will make you a better partner in the future. 

Eventually, you will reach the final stage which is not giving a damn.  You will start to wonder what you saw in your ex in the first place.  Perhaps you will always have a special place in your heart for your ex, but seeing him with another woman won’t be the end of the world.  At this stage, it is possible to move back into a friendship relationship with your ex.

You will also be ready to move into a new relationship yourself.  If you still have strong feelings (even negative ones) towards your ex, it’s a rebound relationship.  But, if you don’t give a damn about him, you can develop strong positive feelings toward a new man.

What is Grief

The reason you feel so terribly after a break up is that you are going through a normal human emotional reaction known as grief.  What is grief?  Grief is the specific process of letting go of an attachment to a person.

When we think of grief, we usually associate it with the death of a loved one.  But, sometimes, the grief is actually stronger with a break up.  One woman’s first husband died suddenly.  Some time later, she remarried and that relationship ended in divorce.

The woman related that the divorce was more emotionally devastating than the death of her husband.  That’s because there was a normal mechanism for dealing with grief when someone dies, but when you break up with a person you loved, people tend to tell you to “get over it.”  There’s no support for breaking up grief.

Whether the grief is over someone who died or over someone you lost through break up, it goes through four stages.

The first stage of grief is denial.  You may be saying to yourself “I can’t believe that he left me” or “I can’t believe that she likes him better.”  These are normal reactions.

Next, you will move on to an acceptance of the situation that is infused with anger.  You believe that the person has really broken your heart and you are angry with them for doing that.

In time, you will be able to acknowledge your sadness without the strong emotional response of anger.  During this time, you need to take care of yourself and your needs.

Article 3 in this series of articles will be continued tomorrow. Meanwhile take a look at this below:


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Just wanted to thank you and let you know how much you have helped me. I followed the [your guide] after a very bitter breakup of a two-year plus relationship (my first since my divorce from a21-year marriage). It started out being one of the most difficult things I have ever attempted in my life and after the initial two weeks I started feeling stronger each day and better about myself. My ex sent me an apology email three weeks in …By now, I had the strength to actually “sleep on it” and sent him a response the next day…within seconds he called me and asked to see me and was crying because he was glad I was talking to him. We are starting out very slowly again as friends (which is difficult for me since I am still deeply in love with him). An interesting note is this is a long distance relationship and your program still worked!! I am so happy to have him in my life again.
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Dating Again!

Just wanted to say thank you soooooooooo much for the amazing advice in your book the magic of making up. Yesterday was that all important First Date and it was absolutely fantastic… i just had an email from him saying what a great time he had and how he can’t believe how cool it was to be together. Also back when we split up, your book picked me up out of the mud when I was feeling the worst I ever felt in my life, and doing all the things you advised gave me a life line – now I am so much stronger and happier. I’m still going to take things slowly with my ex (I’m not at the end of your plan yet!!) but I can’t believe how well life is going only 2 months after I felt like I was half dead. Thank you so much.
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Will My Ex Be Back:5th Article In The Series Of Articles on "Sparks Of Love"

It's Important To Find a Partner in the Traditional Way

The traditional way to find a partner is to meet at a single's bar, go on blind dates, or meet someone at a place where you have a common interest like church or a social club.

While many people have had success these ways, non-traditional dating can, in some ways, be even more successful for you.

For instance, how serious are the people at a single's bar going to be about a long term relationship? They tend to be in it for a one night stand. You can go on endless blind dates before you find someone who even rates a second date. And, there may not be enough people involved in the activities you hold dear to date.

But fortunately, the 21st century has brought about large changes in the way people date.

The biggest change, of course, is the rise of internet dating. Now you can meet hundreds of singles in your area safely in your own home. You can exchange emails and photos to see whether there is any interest before you spend the time and money on a date. You can also get to know someone on a personal level before physical attraction becomes the primary issue.

Don't be ashamed to go about meeting people in a non-traditional way. It is the 21st Century After all!

Will My Ex Be Back

I Shouldn't Have to "Settle"

The idea that "I deserve the Best" means that you are never going to find a partner. Nobody is perfect. It doesn't mean that you are "settling" to accept that someone you love has flaws.

This kind of thinking also tends to come from people who have inflated egos. They have a unsubstantiated sense of self worth and don't want anyone who is not as "good" as they are.

Don't look at people as having to be "better" or "worse" than you. Look at them as individuals with potential.

If you are thinking you shouldn't have to "settle" you probably have an ideal partner in mind. Guess what? That person doesn't exist!

If you have this mentality, it's time for a reality check. Personal therapy wouldn't hurt either.

I Want One Person to Have Everything

This is a similar (yet less severe) form of thinking you shouldn't have to settle. You have created an ideal man or woman who can meet all of your needs.

But the truth is that you are a complex person. You may need someone to play poker with, someone to pray with, someone to raise kids with, and someone to have sex with. Three out of four ain't bad.

Your partner is a mere mortal. They have limits. They also have other interests.

Fill your life with a variety of people not just a boyfriend / girlfriend or spouse. You should have friends and family who you can do the things with that don't interest your partner.

Keep in mind that there are some needs that only a partner can help you meet. For your other needs, if your partner meets them that's great, but you can "outsource" them to other people!

Ps. Remember your twin soul is waiting out there and if you need to lighten up your existing relation watch
this 00