Building a Better Foundation for Your Marriage

Greetings my friends! Friday afternoon and i have worked in my offline wellness business Reiki Center today. But now lets get on with todays article Building a Better Foundation for Your Marriage which has great tips to keep your marriage alive and kicking;) I really like the last part Embrace the Moment – You Never Know How Many You’ll Have because its something to remember regarding all aspects of life. This day and this moment is precious though it contain eternity so dont let this moment pass without reaching out to someone close or far and show that you care. 

Take care and have a great weekend;)

Dick Scott

Marriage requires work. This is something most couples don’t understand — at least when walking into the marriage contract. All relationships require work. Business relationships, parenting relationships, and yet, so many people are surprised to discover just how much work is required to make a marriage successful. Some couples do make it look easy. These are the couples, more often than not, who have built their marriages on solid foundations. If you’re interested in keeping your marriage on track, getting it back on track, or trying to get it on track from the very beginning, you need to consider these tips for building a better foundation.

Discuss Your Past – Briefly

It’s in the past and that’s where it needs to remain. Unless you have major secrets you’re hiding that could harm your relationship down the road, there isn’t much to say about past relationships, connections, and events. That doesn’t mean you should attempt to hide things. Only that it isn’t necessary to discuss the intimate details of every boy you’ve kissed from third grade on up. Relationships are often made stronger because of a shared history but the relationships that last are the ones that keep their eyes on the future and are not constantly staring back into the past.

This also works for fights, arguments, disagreements, etc. Leave them in the past and move on. If you can’t forgive and forget, find a way to work it out so that you’re not constantly dwelling on it. If it’s an ongoing problem find a solution that works for you both or it will continue to be a problem for your marriage.

Make Plans for the Future – Keep them Flexible

Flexibility is a word that needs to be a cornerstone for all marriages. It’s one thing to have a future mapped out together. You need to have plans for the future. But, you need to avoid sticking to those plans so rigidly that they jeopardize your future together.

Embrace the Moment – You Never Know How Many You’ll Have

Life is short. And, it offers no guarantees. You never know how many sunrises and sunsets you’ll get in your marriage. Illness, accidents, and even relationship turmoil can rob you of the future you hoped for. Cherish the time you have together. When petty arguments arise, really think, long and hard, if the argument is worth the discord. Decide if it’s worth robbing you of the joy of being together — even for a moment.

Once you build a better foundation for your marriage, based on these principles, you’ll see a huge difference in the way you approach problems and work to find solutions. Ultimately, you’ll both have a happier marriage that requires less work than many other couples struggling for a future that isn’t working for them, rehashing past arguments, or failing to take advantage of the time they have together today.

Are you still on the edge in your marriage or in your relationship and need something to help you this is the best product on the market for people trying to save their relationship.

Article 3-4 In a Series of Articles on Balancing Your Friends and Lover

How to Treat His or Her Friends

Tell your new girlfriend or boyfriend that you would love to meet his or her friends because they're so important to them. Just as you would like your partner to meet and like your friends, you should show an interest in meeting theirs.  Of course, everyone needs their space, but it's always a good idea to join each other's group of friends once in a while.

Suggesting a night out with his or her friends is a great way to prove that you're not a threat to them, and that you want to be familiar with that part of their life. This can be anything from dinner with her friends and their respective dates to a get-together at your place with your man and his closest friends can work wonders, and score you some much-deserved bonus points in the process.

When you do finally meet the friends, show a sincere interest in them. Ask questions about where they're at and what they're up to, and ask them about their interests.

For extra brownie points, next time you run into them, ask them for an update of whatever they were talking about such as how a job interview went or how the trip to London was. This requires that you actually listen when you are talking to his or her friends, so be on guard! Even a simple, "tell Julie I say hello" to your girlfriend can get you on your significant other’s good side.

When You Don’t Like Your Love’s Friends

You are not always going to like all of your significant other’s friends.  In fact, you may not like any of them.

It's not the ideal situation when this happens, but it's important to remember that you're going out with your girlfriend or boyfriend, not their friends.

Do not badmouth them or insult them.  Do not involve your love. Do not be rude to them if you happen to see them.

Simply try to separate your relationship from his or her friendships, and suck up whatever dislike you feel during important events of your partner’s life, like her birthday, promotion, or your wedding.

Girl’s & Guys Nights Out

You won’t be spending 100 percent of time with either your partner or your friends.  In fact, making sure that you have time for girl’s or guy’s nights out is quite important in any relationship.

In addition to having time with your friends, you need to respect your love’s need for time with his or her friends. 

If your partner asks to join you on your night out, consider asking him to get a group of his friends together to meet you for drinks at the end of the evening.  Don’t let him intrude on the time you have set aside for your friends (and vice versa).

If she does absolutely insist on going to your weekly poker game, you may have to give in.  But, don’t cater to her just because she’s there.  In fact, try to make the whole experience as boring for her as possible.  That way, she won’t ask again and you’ll have your guy’s time secure.

If your love is somewhat suspicious about what you do with your friends, let them know where you’ll be and when you’ll be home.  Drop a quick text or phone call if things change.  While some people might consider this controlling, you can deter a lot of fights by just keeping the other person informed and not suspicious.

One final thing, if you have a fight before you are scheduled to go on a girl’s or guy’s night out, sort out the issues and clear the drama before you leave home.  You don’t want the evening with your friends to be disturbed by an upset partner, and you don’t want to go home to yet another fight.

Look at this

Focus On the One You’re With

One thing that will help you develop and maintain strong relationships with both your friends and your partner is to laser focus on the person or people you are with at the moment. 

When you are on a date, turn off the phone or train your friends to only call in an emergency.

If you are with your friends, ask your love to respect that time as well.

Only talk about your friends or love as it is appropriate in the conversation.  Don’t make your friends listen to long descriptions of your undying love.  Don’t make your partner delve into all of the details of a good gossip.

Respect that your friends and your partner are different and they need different things from you.  While they will naturally be curious about each other, don’t overwhelm them with details from your “other life.”

Don’t Make Him Into One of the Girls or Her Into One of the Guys

It is important to understand that a girlfriend is, at her core, a girl and a boyfriend is a guy.  It’s not to your advantage to turn him into “one of the girls” or her into “one of the guys.”  You should appreciate the masculine or feminine traits they offer.

For instance, if a guy wants his girlfriend to be “just one of the guys,” he’ll force her to take on roles she’s not suited for.  Instead of having time with your real guy friends, you’ll be placing her into it.  You’re better off watching March Madness with your guy friends than insisting that your girlfriend who doesn’t like basketball, watch with you.

Similarly, a woman shouldn’t try to force her boyfriend to be “one of the girls.”  No, he doesn’t like shopping and probably doesn’t want to have long gossip sessions with your friends.  You should appreciate him for that.

While it’s okay for your significant other to be your “best friend,” you shouldn’t expect them to change genders for you.

Turn Her into a Matchmaker

This is one section that works better for men than women.  The idea is for a guy to set up his girlfriend as his “wing woman.”  A Wingman is a guy you bring along with you on singles outings (like to bars) who can help you out with women.  Your girlfriend can play wing woman for your friends in these situations.

One way to balance your friends and your girlfriend is to plan outings with both parties. For example, try taking your girlfriend with you when you go out to the club with the guys. Turning her into a wing woman can be a great opportunity for friend-girlfriend bonding. Your girlfriend can actually be an asset for your friends in the pickup game. Single girls will feel more comfortable talking to your male friends if there's a woman in your group. Also, the sight of your friends talking comfortably with your cute girlfriend is sure to trigger a single girl's competitive nature.

Your girlfriend will enjoy these outings too because women can't resist playing matchmaker. She'll also be happy to lend a hand to your friends because, generally, girlfriends want your male friends to find girlfriends. When your friends start pairing up with girls, they're less threatening to her as you can start doing things like double-dates (instead of having them steal you away to prowl for women). Turning her into a wing woman is a win-win situation.

Alternatively, she can play match maker for your guy friends.  Women like nothing better than to “set people up.” 

Let her try to arrange dates for your friends.  Your friends will appreciate having someone with their interests at heart match them with beautiful single girls.  It’s much better than trying to hook up with a girl at a bar.