Are Dating Guides Useful

Dating can be HARD. No one is denying that fact. Actually, everyone seems to be so aware of just how difficult dating can be that everywhere you look there are dating guides of some sort. These things sell like hot cakes, too. The problem is that the majority of these guides aren’t worth the space they take up online to advertise them. If you think about it honestly, can there REALLY be that many dating gurus and experts around that are taking the time to write books?

Many people do purchase these online ebooks. They also order the physical books that promise to help get that man or that woman that you want. Most of the people that author these books should be sued for false advertising because the only thing they’re an expert in is how to make passive income. The books, themselves, are very often a huge disappointment to the people that buy them.
So, are these dating guides really useful? The answer to this question is yes and no. For people that always seem to have bad luck with picking the wrong people to try to date, or those that are simply too shy to deal with the dating arena, these guides can be helpful. There can be some useful advice in these books by the REAL experts on the subject of dating in this new age. The problem is that many of the so-called “dating gurus” aren’t actually experts at all, as readers will notice almost from the first page of the book.

Many dating guides instruct men to behave in such a way around women that they’re more likely to be slapped than dated. Unless men are in a certain part of town and around a particular type of women, they’re not going to be successful by using the “tips” in ebooks written by men that have bedded a significant number of women around the world. Of course, you may just WANT a series of one night stands. If so, by all means, take the advice these Lotharios are handing out.

On the other hand, there are just as many of these devious books for women as for men. Women aren’t going to get a lot from them unless they’re completely new to the dating game. However, is a 16 year old girl REALLY going to buy a dating guide that caters to women that are “legal?” If so, it’s only going to confuse her more than ever.

If you feel that you need a bit of help with dating, you probably have friends that will be more than happy to offer advice. Many times, that’s the best route to take. However, if you’re really serious about the advice you need, do your research before ordering just any dating guide online that looks useful. Dig into the author’s background and find out what their qualifications are for handing out dating advice. Also, keep in mind that helpful advice doesn’t always have to come from someone with “Dr.” in front of their name. Lots of times, someone with “real life” experience can be even more helpful because they’re real and have lived everything they’re telling you. The choice is yours as to what you feel is going to help you the most.

I wish you the best of luck in all your dating efforts!

To Your Success

Dick Scott

The Six Figure Mentors

Moving Past Betrayal

Todays article Moving Past Betrayal covers a difficult subject within relationships. I think one reason why partners are dishonest could sometimes be a lack of selfconfidence. Then its easy to be flattered and attracted by others then their partner. Enjoy your reading and i hope you will get a good understanding of this subject.

One of the things that destroy relationships the fastest is when one of the partners betrays the other one. This is done through cheating, but it can also happen because of something else that a partner does when they know full well that in doing so; they run the risk of losing their relationship.  Betrayal is not always something that couples can move past. That’s why it’s best to avoid it completely.

However, if your partner has betrayed you in the most unthinkable way, it’s going to be up to you as to how you handle it. Many men cheat on their partners and are immediately contrite once they’re caught. They promise the earth, moon and stars to their partners that they love only them and that the cheating will never happen again. In spite of all the promises, how will you ever be able to trust them again?
That becomes the biggest part of the problem. No one wants to live the rest of their life with someone they can’t trust. It’s simply not worth all of the stress and strain that you’ll undergo if you can’t bring yourself to believe your partner. Once trust is broken, it may be destroyed irreparably, and if that’s the case, there’s really no way to maintain a healthy relationship.

Moving Past Betrayal

Whether or not you decide to stay with the partner that betrayed you, it’s still important that you see a counselor of sorts. You’ll most likely be dealing with all sorts of feelings such as anger, hurt, and just sadness. These can combine to become unbearable and you’ll need someone to help you sort through them all.

Something else that most people need to know is why their partners cheated on them. Women will be positive that they did everything they knew to keep the relationship a good and happy one. Yet, their partners found someone that they felt was worth risking all of that for.
Keep in mind that women of all types get cheated on. Some of the most beautiful women in the world are cheated on by their partners. Such women like Sandra Bullock and Elin Nordegren that any man would be thrilled to have at their side were cheated on by their famous spouses. What’s surprising is the type of women that they chose to cheat with. While both of these women are stunningly beautiful, their spouses gravitated towards cheaper, sluttier women that were nowhere close to being as lovely as their wives. So, don’t get caught up in the mindset of that you’re not pretty enough.

There are many ways that you can move past your betrayal, but it may not come with your relationship intact. If you feel that you can never trust your partner again, it’s time to walk away. Do whatever it takes to heal yourself and take the time to regain your composure. You’ll know when it’s time to get back out there and try again. Not all men are pond scum and that’s what you need to remember. Give the good ones a chance to offer you hope for a great relationship the next time around.

Thanks for reading through the entire article Moving Past Betrayal and have a fantastic day!

Dick Scott/Admin

www.bestwaystogetherback.com

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Article 4-5 In a Series of Articles on Single Parent Dating Tips

Expect Resistance

You may dream that your kids fall in love with your boyfriend or girlfriend immediately.  But, unless they are very small, they are probably going to resist him or her.

That’s because they see your new love replacing their other parent.

Be patient with your kids.  This is hard for them.

With younger children (under 10), assure them that you are not replacing their other parent.  Tell them that it is okay to love their mom or dad.  Let them know that this new person will never take that place in their life.

Another issue with younger children is that they feel your new love is “stealing” their time.  They won’t want to “share” you with someone else.  Tell them “I love you as much as ever, but sometimes I'm not here when you want me to be. I like to spend time with my friends, just like you do.”

If your kids continue to object to your new love, you should listen to them.  This doesn’t mean that they can nix your relationships.  But, if he or she doesn’t listen to them, doesn’t pay attention to them, or makes them uncomfortable, you should listen.  These may be signs that the relationship won’t work with your family.

Older children and teens are likely to rebel.  They’ll test their limits by pushing back against your new love. 

Handle this by giving them some control over their lives. While they shouldn’t control your dating, getting their input on things that they can have a say in – like whether they’d be more comfortable if your date joined you for dinner at the home or if you all went out together can facilitate their acceptance of your new love.

Ask your kids for a monthly “date” with just you and them.  That will make them feel like they are still special to you.  By phrasing this in terms they’ll identify with, you will allow yourself to grow closer to them.  When you go out on your “date,” do things they want to do.

Remember that you are the parent though.  Ultimately, you are the adult in the house. It’s great that you respect your child’s opinion on the matter, that you’re open about discussing the situation and that you’re trying to keep peace in the home. But, in the end, you are the adult and if you want to date someone and your teen doesn’t like it, that’s just too bad.

 A Phenomenal Innovation In Relation Support and Love Advice!

Don’t Turn Your New Partner into a Parent Helper Right Away

Your new partner is a love interest.  You should spend your initial months together in romantic ways.  The most important thing you can do for your relationship during this time is to seal the bond between you.

If you ask him or her to help you in significant ways with the kids, you are imposing an obligation on them that they are not ready to take.  Just as you shouldn’t ask your kids to start treating your love like a parent figure right away, you shouldn’t ask your partner to take on parenting duties.

They may offer to babysit or do minor child chores at first.  You have to decide whether this hurts or helps your relationship.  Remember, the relationship should come before any “assistance” with your kids.

Similarly, you have to factor in how your kids will view this “assistance” from your partner.  You have to give them room to get to know the new person before he or she will be fully accepted by them.

Another note on this topic is that experts almost universally agree that you should not allow your new love to discipline your children at first.  Your partner is a friend, not a parent to them.  If you do ever allow your partner to parent in this way, it should only be after they have become an official step parent through marriage.

In short, your kids are not his or her responsibility until the relationship has been taken to a level where they are part of the “family” in whatever form that takes.

Be Consistent on Sex

One of the things you need to be clear about when you start to date when you have children is the messages you want to be sending your kids about sex. 

Parents have many views about sex.  For instance:

• No premarital sex
• Sex only in committed relationships
• Sex is for adults only

Whatever you are going to tell your kids about sex, you need to practice it yourself.  It’s not enough to tell them to “do as I say not as I do.”  Your children will pick up on any hiprocracy right away.

The next thing you need to do is decide on sleeping arrangements.  Perhaps your love only sleeps over when the kids are on visitation with the other parent.  Or, perhaps you make every night a slumber party.  You need to figure out these things ahead of time so that a last minute hormonal decision doesn’t harm your relationship with your children.

Finally, if you have older kids, you need to think through how you are going to talk to them about sex in light of your new relationship.  Intimate moments are private for a reason, so you shouldn’t let them pry.  But you can also use your own life as a living “teachable moment” for them.

Article 2-3 In a Series of Articles on Single Parent Dating Tips

Where to Find Dates

The scope of dating changes when you have children.  You probably can’t hang out at single’s bars every night like you could before the kids were born.  Some people find it difficult to find someone new when they are finally ready to start dating someone new.

Let all of your friends and acquaintances know that you are interested in meeting new people.  Let them set you up on dates.  When you do this, the man or woman that you see will be aware up front that you have kids.

When you are with your kids, strike up conversations with other eligible parents.  Not all of them will be available, but some will be.  The fact that they understand what life is like with kids is an added plus.

While you may not have the time or energy to go to a lot of single’s events, you may have an hour at the end of the day to visit online dating sites.  Consider joining one or more of these sites.  A general interest site will have some information in the profiles about whether the person is interested in dating people with kids.  More specific sites exist for single parents to meet each other.

When you start actively looking for someone, you will probably be pleasantly surprised at how many people there are to date.

Let Your Date Know About Your Kids

You should let your date know about your kids as soon as possible.  If you wait, they may feel that they have wasted their time if they are not interested in kids.

But, more importantly, you will have wasted your time.  And, for single parents, time is precious.  Don’t think that you can lure someone into loving you and then spring your kids on them after they’ve fallen in love.  It just doesn’t work that way.

Don’t apologize for being a parent.  Your kids are a big part of your life.  You are justifiably proud of your relationship with them. 

If your date expresses any hesitation about your having kids, that’s a good sign that you shouldn’t pursue the relationship.  If he or she seems only tolerant of children, it’s a good sign things won’t work out.

Find out how they feel about having more children and how they see integrating the families upfront as well.

Don’t Parade Dates in Front of Kids

Introducing someone new to your kids should take serious thought.  For instance, having a series of “uncles” come into a child’s life can be very confusing.  It should be a big step to introduce someone to your kids.  It’s taking the relationship up a level.

Before you introduce your kids to a new love, you should be in a committed relationship, envision this person as a potential member of your family, and talk between yourselves about what this means.  Make sure your love is ready to accept the responsibility of being a part of your kids’ lives.

Additionally, before you introduce your new man or woman, really get to know them.  Do a background check if you feel that is important.  When you introduce someone into your family, you make your kids vulnerable to them.  Make sure that the person is not a psycho or a child abuser.  Remember, the only “rule” is that your kids don’t get hurt.

Reassure Your Kids that They Remain Important to You

Realize that when you introduce another person into the “family,” your kids are going to feel threatened by the new person’s presence.  Therefore, you are going to need to reaffirm the children’s centrality to your life.

Tell them that just because you love another man or woman, it doesn’t mean that you love them any less.

Share your enthusiasm about the person you are dating.  Tell your kids why you love him or her. 

Use this opportunity to talk openly about love relationships.  They will later model what you do now, so your reassurance about love is important.

The Magic Second Chance Letter!

The First Encounter

When you first introduce your new boyfriend or girlfriend to your children, you may want to tell them he or she is a “friend.”  Let them get used to the person before you up the ante.

You want the first encounter to be fun for everyone.  Don’t plan a big event.  Keep it small and fun.

For instance, go to the park and play on the swings, or for older kids, play Frisbee.  Have a special treat like ice cream from the vendor to make the occasion extra “sweet.”

Keep the occasion short.  Spend an hour or so together. 

It may be best to arrive at a venue in separate cars rather than meet at one house and drive together.  That way, if things blow up (and they might), you can quickly leave.

You are also probably going to be concerned with the impression your children make on your new love.  That’s natural.  But you should let your kids be kids.  You’ll stress them out if you try to make them “perfect” for this occasion.

If you have older kids, this is not the time to have big fights about holey jeans or make up.  Teenagers in particular may “push back” by pushing all of your buttons.  Realize that it is stressful for them to meet an adult figure that may play a role in their lives.

Give your children and your new love space to develop their own relationships.  The bond between them is going to be forged naturally.  You can’t force it. 

You can facilitate it though.  Have family style dates.  Do fun, kid-oriented things together like going ice skating or to a movie that the kids have been dying to see.

But, if your kids are shy or uncomfortable with the new person, don’t push it.  If their relationship with the new person never forms, there is nothing you can do to “make” your kids love the new person.

Article 3 In a Series of Articles on How To Go On A Cheap Date

Enjoy the Great Outdoors

There are so many free and low cost activities available when you want to enjoy the great outdoors.  Couple any of the following activities with a picnic lunch, and you’ve got a date that can last from 4 to 10 hours.

For instance, take a Frisbee to the park.    Toss it around before breaking out the picnic lunch.  Then, after you’ve eaten, spend some more time with the plastic disc.

Touch football is a contact sport.  Gotta love that on a date!  Or, play some one on one basketball.  If that’s too much exercise, opt for p.i.g. instead.

Bike riding is a popular date idea.  You can ride to a beautiful destination such as a waterfall and have lunch there.  Then ride home.  A variation on this theme is to rent a bicycle built for two (tandem bike) for the date.

Rollerblading on the boardwalk can be lots of fun if you have any balance at all.  You can either go hand in hand or race each other to a destination.

Ice Skating can be fun in the great outdoors during the winter season and can even be enjoyed in the summer if you have an indoor arena.  Again, people who have done this before tend to have a better time on a first date!

Take to the water.  Going fishing or boating can provide a relaxing way to get to know someone while offering something to do with one’s hands. 

In the summer, grab some inner tubes and float down a river.

Fill up some water balloons and have a messy fight (gals, wear a white t-shirt for added impact!)  In the winter, a snow ball fight serves the same purpose.  And, wintertime also brings on the possibility of building the biggest, best snowman in the neighborhood.

In many personal ads, people say they want to find someone to take “midnight strolls on the beach” with.  But how many people actually do this?  Surprise your date with an evening trip to the nearest body of water for a romantic walk.

Take a Class

If you really want to spend some time with a person, consider signing up for a class together.  A class can consist of a one afternoon demonstration on how to make sushi to a year long language course at the university.

Perhaps one of the most romantic date classes is dance lessons.  When you learn to dance, you have years of great dates ahead of you.  You can choose whatever kind of dancing is interesting to the two of you, but ballroom, tango, and salsa dancing are definitely the kinds of classes where “it takes two.”

How To Go On A Cheap Date

You may be interested in cooking classes.  Generally cooking classes are one to four sessions in length, so you will not be committing to a long period of time.  Also, there are a variety of kinds of cooking classes from helping you develop basic cooking skills to advanced sessions on specific kinds of cooking.  Some classes are taught by professional cooks in their kitchens.  Others are sponsored by restaurants or gourmet supermarkets.  There are also cooking classes at junior colleges and community centers.

Community colleges have semester and half semester long classes on a whole variety of liberal arts subjects that don’t cost much money.  In California, for instance, a 45 hour literature course costs less than $100 plus text books.  You can take classes in comparative religion, creative writing, psychology, or any other subject that sparks your interest.  Maybe the most romantic class you can take is a romance language.  Wouldn’t you like to be able to say “I love you” in Italian?

University extension centers have non-credit courses as well.  Some of these mirror the content of a normal university course without the homework.  Others are related to helping you develop professional skills.  But some, are just for fun.  For instance the University of California at Berkeley has an extension series in wine appreciation.  And, Harvard’s extension program offers classes in Folklore and Mythology, Hindi, and Film.

Your Park and Recreation or Community Center probably also offers a range of classes you can take for fun.  The Austin, TX Parks and Rec department offers month long classes (once a week) in subjects as varied as sculpture, photography, and short film.

If you are thinking about getting married, a personal finance class could help you bridge the ways you think about money and help you build a more secure future.

One kind of class that could pay dividends is a couple’s massage class.  This is one class where you won’t mind doing your “homework.”

When you learn together, you grow together as a couple.  Signing up for classes together provides a series of inexpensive and enriching dates. Next article on How To Go On A Cheap Date will be tomorrow.