Did Score Keeping Ruin Your Relationship?

Good morning all readers; todays article Did Score Keeping Ruin Your Relationship? is really covering an important subject. It is so true that  if  you add up every time you have been hurt in the past you will never stop feeling bad about your relationship. If quizzes aint solved for the benefit of both parts it sure will come back again. Unfortunately we also have a tendence to blame our spouse and then completely forget our own part of the problem; and we often do that as a defence when our partner attack us verbally. Strange as it seems the best thing to do in a quarrel is to ask: what do you really want and what do you need behind your cruel words. That will put the finger on the real reason which often can be something else then what words tell. Our feelings can both be our blessings and our worst enemy; they are both love and sometimes the opposite and then we do have to settle down and ask ourselves and our partner what do we really want with our relationship!

Have a lovely day!

Dick Scott/Admin

No matter what you may have heard, it takes two to make or break a relationship. You aren’t the sole reason your breakup happened. But, that doesn’t mean there aren’t things you’ve done along the way that contributed to the end. One of the biggest problems in relationships, and one that is more common than most people realize, is a practice called keeping score.

You may have a fight and even make up after the fight, but in the back of your mind, you’re marking off numbers on a scorecard your partner has never even seen. When need fights occur, you’re adding fouls and other offenses to this scorecard and the fight grows into so much more than it started out as.

You know what I’m talking about. You’re having a fight over dinner being late and suddenly the fight’s about something that happened last year when he didn’t defend you when his mother was overly critical. This is bad for the relationship for many reasons. These are just a few.

Nothing is Ever Solved

Not really solved, anyway. The other person has moved on and forgotten about the old argument. Then suddenly he or she is being held responsible for something they thought had been sorted out and made up for in the past. To them it feels like a sucker punch and that’s not a good feeling.

Fighting is a normal part of relationships. The purpose is to RESOLVE issues. When you pretend all is well for a while and then bring it up at a later date, it leaves the other person feeling doubly hurt and somewhat betrayed.

It Breeds Resentment

Unfortunately, when you’re keeping score and resolving nothing, you’re rehashing old arguments and emotional injuries just beneath the surface. You’re walking around in a state of unresolved hurt and growing resentment all the time. It’s not healthy for you and may leave your partner scratching his or her head at times trying to understand why you’re so angry all the time.

Compounds the Real Problems in the Relationship

Finally, when you have this running score going on in your head of perceived slights and injuries (some things you’ve probably never even so much as mentioned to your partner), they’re only serving to compound the real problems in the relationship.

This means that when the time comes to begin working on what’s broken, you have to sift through all the clutter to get to the heart and soul of the problem in your relationship. Too often, you expend precious time and energy trying to sort through the old issues that you never get to the real problem.

That’s when breakups happen. That’s when the two of you give up and then, more often than not, live with regrets over what could have been. Is it too late? I don’t believe it’s ever too late. But, you will ultimately have to eliminate the scorecard and leave it behind you for good if you want to have an honest shot at a second chance.

I really hope your relationship is bringing you hapiness and if not i can recommend this proven source: The Magic of Making up!

Wishing you the best!

Dick Scott

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Why You Must Control Your Jealousy if You Want to Get Your Ex Back

I think we all have felt a little jealousy sometimes and that it show our fear for loosing our love. But when jealousy gets out of hand and take over our logical thinking its a problem  and can ruin our relationship. So i hope reading todays article Why You Must Control Your Jealousy if You Want to Get Your Ex Back will be helpful.

Dick Scott/Admin

Jealousy can be a huge problems for relationships. The green-eyed monster is especially problematic when we live in a world that includes Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, text messaging, instant messaging, email and so many other ways for people to communicate with each other – including members of the opposite sex.

More and more jobs expect professional employees to have ready access to information at all hours of the day and night and many people must go back into the office after hours on occasion, or never seem to leave the office on other occasions. It leaves the doors wide open for jealous spouses and lovers to leap to the wrong conclusions quite often.

Some Jealousy Can be Good for the Relationship

While your significant other is probably glad to know you care enough for the green-eyed monster to rear its ugly head on occasion, it’s important to avoid making scenes, jumping to conclusions, and levy accusations and allegations without proof. The key is to find balance. You want your partner to know you care, but avoid going overboard with displays of jealousy lest they alarm your partner and cause doubts about the relationship. Trust, after all, is also important. When jealousy is too “over the top” it leaves your partner feeling as though you lack trust.

Reigning in the Green-Eyed Monster

The key is to reign in your jealousy before it becomes problematic. Consider these actions to get your jealousy under control.

* Breathe deeply. Whenever your jealous thoughts are about to spiral out of control, take a moment to breathe in and out slowly and deeply. Focus all your attention on breathing for the next several breaths. This not only helps you calm your raging thoughts but also provides important seconds for clearer thinking to kick in.

* Speak calmly. This is not the time to incite violence or make threatening statements. Let your partner know you’re uncomfortable and explain why in a reasonable tone. Most partners will show respect for your feelings, even if your partner believes they are unfounded, and attempt to get out of the situation if it’s possible.

* Be proactive. When you feel the ugly head of jealousy making an appearance, start looking for thoughts and feelings that will cancel it out. The more active role you take in eliminating jealousy from becoming a problem for your relationship, the less likely it is to become one.
If jealousy has already caused big problems in your relationship, you can still get your ex back once you get your jealousy under control. Then you just need to follow these simple instructions to have your ex back in your arms in no time.

I wish you all the best in love and life! Make this day one of your best!

To Your Success

Dick Scott

The Six Figure Mentors

Article 7 and Concluding Article On Mending My Broken Heart

Can You Get Him Back

One of the big questions people have when they have been dumped is whether they can get their ex back.  There are any number of tricks and techniques to do ensnare your ex, but the question is whether you want to.  Even if it hurts, is this a good time to let go and move on?

If you do decide you want your ex, there are three paths to take, only one of which is truly effective.

The one most people choose is to act needy.  They write long letters to their ex pouring out their heart (and they actually send them rather than burn them which I suggest earlier.)  They make midnight phone calls or send multiple text messages.  They send friends as emissaries to “feel out” whether their ex would want them back.

This tends to be a turn off for many ex’s.  He will feel hunted and go out of his way to shy away from you.

A second route is recommended by many of the “get your ex back” products and it involves playing games.  Show up where he hangs out and then talk to everyone but him.  Flirt with his buddies.  Even date his best friend.

In the long run, these tricks cannot repair a broken relationship – even if they get him back short term.

If you really are determined to get him back, you need to take control of yourself.  Become the women he fell in love with all over again.  Do a makeover and take better care of yourself.  It’s okay to start dating again because this will let him know that you are an attractive person to other men. 

If you take control of yourself, there is some hope that he will fall in love with you again.  You haven’t hounded him into coming back and you haven’t played any games.  You’ve simply moved on with your life while being open to his returning.

In this way, you can start to move on while leaving the door open which is probably the best way to leave things if you want to get your ex back.

How To Get Lover Back

Can You Still Be Friends?

One of the standard lines in a break up is “I just want to be friends.”  Is it possible to just be friends with someone who you have previously had an intimate relationship?

Although being friends after the split offers temporary relief, it may block the slow but necessary passage from loss to restoration of independence. 

You need to give each other space to heal and to move on with life.  If you see each other frequently, you may try to hold on to some thoughts of getting back together. 

If you do want to be friends in the long run, give yourself some space in the short term.  Take a 30 day “vacation” from each other.  During this time, you should not have any contact with each other including phone calls, meetings, or emails.  Go out of your way to not be present where the other one is.

If you do decide to remain friends after this 30 day period, the feeling must be mutual.  If one person decides that they do not want to pursue a friendship, then it is not possible.

If you still want to be friends, there must be some ground rules.  Understand the feelings each of you have for each other.  You should also understand each of your motivations for wanting to stay in contact.

When you talk, ask neutral questions rather than emotionally laden ones.  Avoid hurtful confrontations or questions.

You should also establish boundaries.  For instance, how often do you want to see or call each other?  What kind of gifts are appropriate for the new friendship?

Conclusion

The best piece of advice I have for you is "this too shall pass."  No, it’s not easy.  But, life isn't easy.  Instead, life is filled with sorrows and joys.  Rejoice in the fact that you are human and that you will find your soul mate in the future. Next advice is from the man who created  A Phenomenal Innovation In Relation Support and Love Advice!