Article 1 In a Series of Articles on Balancing Your Friends and Lover

Introduction

When you start out on a new love relationship, one of the things you will have to do is balance your friends and your new lover.

Your friends are tolerant of your Friday night dates.  But, will they be as tolerant with you spending a considerable amount of your time with a boyfriend or girlfriend instead of them?

Too many people throw their friends by the wayside when they embark on a new love relationship.  But this can backfire, especially if the love doesn’t last.

So, this report will focus on how to balance your friends and your significant other.

Friends Are Forever

There’s a saying among women that “friends are forever, guys come and go.”  This can apply to both men and women equally though.

Most people will go through several serious relationships before they settle down into a marriage.  Indeed, they may even go through two or more marriages.  But some people have friends for life.

That’s not to say that your love relationships aren’t important, because they are.  If you end up living with or marrying a person, he or she becomes the central figure in your life.

When you commit to someone seriously, you will make life decisions together.  Together you may decide to move to a new city.  That means that while you may keep up with friends through email and phone, they will become less important in your life. 

Also, when you have children with a person, your circle of friends changes because you do “family” things instead of “single people” things.

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As you can see, there is a delicate balance here.  You want your friends and your lover. 

You need to be able to remain friends with your closest confidents.  The power of friendship is important.

Most of the time, your most important friends will be of the same gender.  There are things that you can’t do with your new love because he or she won’t understand or appreciate the experience.  Girls may want a spa day and getting a facial is not their boyfriend’s idea of fun.  And, a girl may not understand her boyfriend’s obsession with Texas Hold ‘Em.

That’s okay.  In fact, realizing that both friends and a lover a part of a complete life is an essential part of striking the balance.

When the Relationship Ends

While it’s odd to talk about a relation’s ending at the beginning of a report, I’d rather not end on a sour note.  So, I’ll talk about it here. 

When a relationship ends, you are going to want to turn to your friends for emotional support to help you through it. 

But, if you have abandoned your friends by pouring yourself into a love relationship, your friends aren’t going to be happy to accept you back into their group right away.

In fact, you are going to have to regain their trust.

And, since most love relationships do end, you need to maintain your ties to friends.