Some guys have a girlfriend with whom they are sexually compatible with, but who, for some reason or other, does not make good girlfriend material. If this is the case, can you convert a girlfriend to "friends with benefits" or " a sex buddy" status?
Generally "friends with benefits" means that you will hang out together sometimes, particularly in groups, and that you will sleep together, but that you will have an understanding that it is not a romantic relationship and that it is not leading to something bigger.
A "sex buddy” is someone with whom you sleep with occasionally but do not ever socialize with outside the bedroom.
How to Convert a Girlfriend to a "Friend With Benefits" |
If you are going to turn your girlfriend into someone with whom you continue to sleep with, you should not have the "break up conversation" right away. Instead, start to distance yourself from her first. Stop going out with her as often, return her phone calls more sporadically, and stop being there emotionally for her.
Once you have "the talk" do some specific things to let her know that the romantic portion of the relationship is over. For instance, never have sex in your bed again. Either go to her place and not spend the night or have sex on the couch at your place.
Don't do "boyfriend" things any longer. For instance, you don't buy your sex buddy a dozen roses for Valentine's day. And, you wouldn't spend more money on a Christmas present for a "friend with benefits" than you would on any other friend. You also shouldn't lend her money as this complicates the relationship.
Don't see her more than once a week or so. You should be dating other girls and not have time for more than a once a week encounter.
Don't let her introduce you as her boyfriend. You don't want to let her think of you this way, even if it does smooth the waters at times.
Finally, you should try to avoid getting involved with her family and the circle of friends that is "hers" (as opposed to your mutual friends.) Again, you are not her boyfriend. She is not entitled to have you as a boyfriend substitute even if you are sleeping with her.
Conclusion
Yes, breaking up is hard to do. And, if you care about your girlfriend and don't want to break her heart, you have to approach it right. Just remember these three things:
1. No matter what you do to mitigate it, if there was ever love in the relationship, it will hurt both of you to break up. This hurt is part of life.
2. There is never a perfect time or perfect place to break up. Keep her feelings and life circumstances in mind when you choose to break up, but know that it's never going to be "just right."
3. If the relationship isn't working, you are doing both you and her a favor by allowing you to move on and find people with whom you can build a real life. Even if you love your girlfriend, you have to set her free to find her true love. And, you have to be free to find yours.
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