Should you ever spend a night with your ex.

You get to indulge in the finer things in life without having to deal with the complicated process of forming a relationship. But where do you draw the line when it comes to one night stands?

Of all the people you could have a one night stand with, an ex is one of the most complicated. In the heat of the moment you may find yourself about to hook up with someone you thought you were never going to be with again.

If all goes well, it can be quite the treat. There is always the possibility however, that it will not. To avoid unnecessary drama in your life, there are a few things you should consider before hooking up with an ex, even for "old times' sake".

Is Anything Clouding Your Judgement?

This is the first thing you should always ask yourself if you are considering this situation. Hooking up with your ex can lead to a landslide of regret the following morning if you realize it's not something you really wanted to do.

If you are under the influence of any drugs or alcohol your decision making skills take a back seat and impulse and desire take over the wheel. Many impaired people let their clouded judgement take control and forget to think over consequences.

If you know there is a possibility of hooking up with your ex, make sure you have considered it with a completely sober mindset first.

Consider Why You Broke Up To Begin With

It is hard to define whether or not you should have a one night stand with your ex since it is so circumstantial. Certain people have no problem doing it and with others it leads to turmoil.
 Analyze the way your relationship was and think about why it ended. Which one of you wanted to end it? Did you split up on good terms?

Should you ever spend a night with your ex.

If you were the one that wanted to break it off, you should find out whether or not your ex still has feelings for you. They could be expecting something much different to come from the one night stand.

You don't want to hook up with them if it means you will end up breaking their heart all over again. To solve this issue, make it clear that it is only a one night deal. If you are both mature about it with control of your feelings, it could be fine.

Think About What You Are Looking For

The last thing to do before you hook up with an ex is to find out why you are doing it. Analyze the motives behind your actions before making the big decision.

Do you want to do it purely for the sex? If this is the case than why did you choose your ex? There are plenty of other new experiences laying ahead of you that you could be exploring.

If you are doing it purely for the comfort of being with someone you know, make sure you keep it strictly physical with minimal emotions.

But perhaps you are doing it for another reason. Is the one night stand motivated by a desire to be with them? If so, then why pick a one night stand? If the desire is strong enough, talk to your ex about your feelings and find out where they stand to see if your feelings match up.

Just be aware, if they are looking for sex and you are looking for a relationship, you could end up getting hurt. With all this in mind, deciding whether or not to hook up with your ex will be a lot easier. Before you make a final decision, prepare yourself for the fact that one night stands can toy with emotions before making your decision. Analyze the motives of you and your partner and just to be safe, make a set of rules that define the night as a one time thing.

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Signs He Wants To Leave You

Men aren't generally known for initiating conversations about their relationships. They don't seem too interested in the topics that women usually talk about. So, when they decide they want to break up, it seems quite sudden to the woman.

But in reality they've probably been thinking about it for quite awhile. If a man decides he wants to end a relationship, this decision may happen in his head long before he actually takes action on it.

In the meantime, he may start acting out of character and quite different from the man you fell in love with. Until a man gets enough courage to tell you it's over, you're somewhat left in the dark and constantly left to guess what's going on with them. But the signs are there. You just need to know what to look for.

He's not as talkative as he used to be and generally keeps to himself when you're around.

Men tend to be quiet when they're uncomfortable around certain people. You've probably noticed he doesn't talk about his day like he used to or divulge much information about his life in general anymore.

When you're in his company, he gets very quiet. But as soon as his cell phone rings and he answers, his personality and charm pop back to life and he's suddenly his old self again.

He rarely texts you anymore or has stopped altogether.

At first, he text you about everything, but now you're lucky if you get one text a day. Men usually text on a whim about whatever they're feeling or thinking at the time.

Signs He Wants To Leave You

Once this stops, it indicates you're no longer in his thoughts or priority one. Does he talk to you as if you're a stranger on the phone? This is a red flag that he's probably already moved on, at least in his mind.

He's working longer hours just to stay away from you.

Several men love their jobs and go the extra mile in an effort to further their career. We're not talking about those men.

We're talking about men who voluntarily take on more work and longer hours just so they can avoid seeing less of you. Hurts, doesn't it? You'll notice the change in them as compared to their previous behavior.

He would rather watch sports than to have sex with you.

If your man is constantly coming up with excuses, especially sports-related ones, about why he's too busy to have sex with you, that's an even bigger red flag.

Men are programmed to think about sex and want sex practically anytime, anywhere. So, if he's consistently turning you down, something has changed, and not for the better.

He doesn't bring you around his friends anymore.

When you two first got together, he couldn't wait to introduce to his friends and family. But if he's going out with his friends more frequently now and leaving you at home while he's out doing whatever, he probably wants the two of you to end.

When relationships fall apart, it's never easy no matter how long you've been together, how old you are, or what reasons led to the breakup. It's just plain hard. How you leave a relationship though will determine the class of person you are. If it's truly over, leave with your dignity intact.

There's something better waiting for you in your future.

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Silly Mistakes Derailing Your Efforts to Get Your Ex Back

How long have you been working to get your ex back without seeing any real results? Many people in your shoes are surprised to learn that it isn't what you aren't doing that's holding you back. It's the things you are doing, that are working against you. Here are a few common roadblocks that could be derailing your trip back to relationship bliss.

You are Proud to be there for Your Ex

It's a noble idea. Really it is. However, if you're there for a friendly ear, a comforting shoulder, or a fast perk-me-up whenever your ex needs it from you, your ex isn't really missing out on the benefits of being in a relationship with you. It's getting all the fringe benefits of a loving relationship without putting in the work to keep things going. Instead, you're going to have to let your ex deal with the stings life delivers sometimes without the solace of your comforting presence.

You Keep Trying

I know this one goes against everything your heart (and to some degree your head) is screaming at your right now. However, in times of crisis, reason isn't even in charge of your head either. Reason rarely rules the heart. Why should a time of emotional distress be any different? One person can't do it all in the relationship.

Pat Benatar had it right when she sang, "Love is a Battlefield." Love is war and the winners, in love, have a plan. The tactical advantage goes to the one who retreats, assesses the situation impartially, and plans a strategic assault with victory in mind. You had better believe love is war. And you need to take a little time to assess your current position, the hostility of the terrain, and the best path to victory before you go in with guns (or in this case Cupid's arrows) blazing.

Silly Mistakes Derailing Your Efforts to Get Your Ex Back

You Attack from a Position of Weakness

Fans of NCIS know that team leader Gibbs is always telling his team not to apologize. According to Gibbs, apologizing is a sign of weakness. While that's a philosophical debate for the most part, when you're trying to save your relationship or get your ex back, it is often viewed, the leaving party, as a sign of weakness. You don't want to make your move from an inferior position. Instead, lead with your strengths.

Show your power. Establish your dominance. Come in swinging from a position of strength and don't ever let your ex see you sweat. There's nothing sexier, to members of the opposite sex, than confidence. Be confident in yourself, your contribution to the relationship, and the fact that it's just not time for this relationship to end.

Above all else, don't make a move until you know what you're going to do next. Have a contingency plan in place for a favorable outcome as well as a less-than-favorable outcome so that you don't come across as desperate if you don't win this round. Your mind needs to remain focused on the long-term prize of getting your ex back and every plan needs to ultimately lead you down that happy road.

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The Magic of Making Up

The Secret you need to know to get your lover back! From the man that has helped over 50 000 people in 77 countries to get back together again!

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 Works For Long Distance Relationships Too... 

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I'll keep in touch. Tiffany 

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Cheryl 

Pleasantly Surprised... I have received your guide entitled The Magic of Making Up and was pleasantly surprised with the quality of the advice contained therein...[removed due to sensitive nature] 
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Have A Date This Friday... Well, My ex and I are talking a little bit more now. He text me yesterday and said that he missed me. He also told me he still loves me. And we have a date this Friday...[removed due to personal nature] 
Sep 

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 Back Together In One Week... I did buy the book, and got back togeether in one week. [removed due to personal nature] 
Gina 

 Ex Flying Back From England! Hi there! Wishing you a very happy christmas too! Thank you so much for your help, your ideas really managed to open my eyes and to see you from another perspective!!i never used to think of it that way. I have learned a lot about myself too, and i now know how to speak to him whilst keeping in control of the situation at the same time. My ex and i had a long distance relationship and he is flying over to see me here in England to try and sort all this mess out! 
Regards and many thanks Nadia

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Second Try at Living Together

Couples may see taking another pass at their relationship, including moving back in together, after a break up as either overly simple or impossibly difficult. The good news lies somewhere in between the two poles. The trickiest thing will be the return to cohabitation as the majority of pitfalls occur when people reduce their footprint as it allows for all the challenges to be magnified. Taking certain steps increases the chances of success.

Know the Why

Moving in together can be done for multiple reasons. One should understand the specific reasons they and their partner are looking to join forces in the most intimate way. Being aware of this before taking the plunge prevents any problems achieving those goals. If one of the couple is not on board, everything may end as their first pass. What are some possible whys?

* Taking a Next Step: Some couples say this is making sure they are compatible in a living arrangement.
* Saving Money: With an eye toward the future, couples may wish to cut expense and put the money aside for a big purchase.
* Finding a Lease Release: A lease ends and one apartment is not getting used that much anyway.
* Longing for More Time: Couples want to be in proximity to one another.

These and countless other reasons can crop up to explain why it is time to move back in together. This may become trickier after the first time of living together because one might decide to say what their partner wishes to hear rather than being honest about what they feel.

Create Separation

The second time around resist the urge to meld everything into one big mass. The individuals must have individual parts of themselves to permit vitality within themselves and the relationship. Let's take a look at some things needing a slice of separation.

Second Try at Living Together 

Personal Possession: Combining streaming queues and full libraries along with pots and pans the first week may lead to trouble if another uncouple occurs.

Finances: Keep financial responsibilities apart for the short term. There can be a joint account or separation of bills, so everyone is equally committed to the relationship.

Space/Time/Activities: Each person needs to have a space to get away to, time to themselves and things they pursue without their partner. This adds variety, conversation points and areas for personal growth.

Proceed with Caution and Hope

Too often, couples taking a second tour are wiser for the first attempt. They recall fights along with hot button issues. Because of this, they can go slow without creating an environment of distrust. At the same time, they should not be living as though it will all go wrong. An open heart and mind will permit conversations about the future without short changing the expected growth.

Moving forward, the couple staying together witness several of these safeguards will fall by the wayside naturally. Money talks will be about the couple and not the individual. Shared activities will become more common. Libraries and home goods will grow indistinguishable from who they started with. Holding on too long to separateness will prevent growth. If one uses fear to prevent progression, they need to talk with their partner. Getting closer means talking about it and stretching for the future.

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Regaining Trust After You've Cheated

When trust has been broken through infidelity, couples struggle to find their way. The betrayer finds hope scarce. However, this does not mean a possibility for a future ends at the point of cheating. One of the most important things when rebuilding trust is it takes time and patience. Proactive steps brings couples closer as they work through the process of rebuilding the trust.

Assume Responsibility

This seems to be clear, but often gets ignored. The first step is a clear apology with assumption of the wrong done to the other person. Though the first step, the act will never resolve everything. Things will not move forward productively without an acknowledgement of wrongdoing. The one who committed the act needs to resist explaining, offering excuses or being defensive despite the temptation to do so.

Be Consistent

After an act of betrayal, the wronged person doubts everything said and done by the one who broke the relationship. This makes things challenging because it calls into question previous events along with things moving forward. For this reason, it becomes critical the person rebuilding trust do all the things they say they are going to do when they say they will do it. The size of the act does not matter because each will have the same weight at this point. Set reminders as necessary to prevent a slip up and maintain stellar consistency. This will demonstrate the level of reliability.

Do Not Press

A strong urge to "get things over the awkward hump" creates a desire to move things forward. Throwing things past the difficult stage causes two serious concerns for the one who has been wronged.

1. Not Really Repentant: Rushing toward resolution gives the impression one is not truly sorry about what they did. No one enjoys being on the hook for harming their partner. In the end, it is better to be that position than presenting a position of apathy about the relation shattering act.

Regaining Trust After You've Cheated

2. Turning a Blind Eye: Fear of relational loss and shame over the damaging behavior can cause the betrayer to jump to the place of acting as though everything is fine. While understandable as a reason, this only takes into account one person's feelings and it is not the one who was betrayed.

Give Time to Grieve

The loss of trust in a relationship is no small bauble like a misplaced magnet. Because of its value, time needs to be taken to mourn its loss. Both people must wrestle with what happened, how the relationship has changed and the feelings they have for one another now. An inclination exists this step is only for the person who was wronged. This is not the case because the loss of trust hurts both people. Ignoring the pain will likely lead to a state of being bound to the damaging feelings rather than getting free to move forward.

Love Them As They Need

Letting the person who was hurt take the lead gives a clear indication as to how to proceed. If they wish intense contact and conversation, then take the time as a critical investment into the relationship. They may need acts of service as physical manifestations of the repentance the betrayer feels. This shift makes things much more difficult because the natural tendency in any relationship is to provide what is most convenient. One nice aspect of the focus shift centers around how they wish to be treated when things are not bad. Moving forward, this will help when times are good to bolster the relationship.

Hang In There

As stated previously, rebuilding trust takes time. There will be instances when it will seem things are no closer to being resolved than when the betrayal first came to light. Perseverance during this time will be the difference between couples that break under the pressure and those one the other side with a stronger relationship than before. Remember how much they mean and they are worth fighting for.

Relational trust, like a fine piece of china dropped on the kitchen floor, shatters easily sending tiny bits throughout the space. Some of the fractured pieces will never be found and the repair process leaves something with cracks running throughout it. Both partners need to share, listen and put in the time to rebuild the trust. This is the only way to move forward for without trust the relationship ends up being a relic on a high shelf no one looks at or uses. Do the hard work and rebuild the trust.

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

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Hitting Reset on Relational Expectations

Expectations prove tricky. When going to the movies, a glowing review from a friend may hype the story too much leading to a disappointing evening because it did not meet the lofty standards. It might have been better had the friend said nothing at all. The situation grows even more critical when returning to a relationship. Knowing pitfalls and the key areas where they land offers the opportunity to resuscitate expectations offering the greatest chance for success moving forward.

Time

With this category, the length of the relationship and level of comfort can set the expectation. Each person should come back in with fresh eyes which can be challenging. The correlation between a long relationship and high expectations will place pressure to return a similar level of togetherness without taking into account the time separated. Dial down the pressure in order to find the right amount of time in each other's company nestled between too much and not enough. Watch for growing pains. They will likely cause a bumpy road.

Teaming Up

If the relationship exploded, often couples find it harder to trust their partner will have their back even when certain assurances have been made. Feelings of a lack of support or honesty can be normal. Not placing too much pressure on forging an instant bond yields frustration.

Communicate

Falling into old communication patterns and expectations lead to future problems. Most couples with problems communicating end up separated. A return to a relationship never resolves the hidden pitfalls. Consider some good ideas to help with communication expectations.

Hitting Reset on Relational Expectations

* Speak Up: A partner cannot guess what is being said unless it is spelled out. Hearing specific thoughts, feelings and needs forges a better bond.

* Extra Steps: Too often, couples want to leap immediately to the end. Go slow and add clarifying statements to make sure everyone is on the same page.

* Hard Work: No shortcuts exist for good communication, so expecting everything to be easy will only bring about more headaches and frustrations.

Heart Care

The place where unrealistic expectations can do the most damage is the emotional arena. A long foundation where conversations about the past and shared history bonds partners provides a shorthand to intimacy. It becomes easy to rely on the past rather than assessing the current state of things and moving forward accordingly. No couple, whether they were together previously or not, should hold their partner to a standard they are not willing to keep themselves.

* The bond never develops from the moment the relationship restarts. Lower the intimacy bond.
* Using the past as a guide, watch to see how a partner may have grown or changed in the time apart. Raise the encouragement.
* Pay attention to what the other person needs by asking and experimenting with new ways to share love. Raise the heart.


Expectations, like weeds in a garden, show areas where work needs to occur and may choke out healthy growth if ignored. Wisdom gives one the chance to temper a critical heart and tongue. Making sure a future exists starts with not apply an old paradigm to something new. Keep an open heart, give love a chance and every expectation will be topped.

If you Want Him Back, I’ll show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your lover back in your arms – Especially if you are the only one trying…

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